(The only way is up)
Okay so I have a brief gap in my day (before my next nap/nappy change) to write this post and tell you a bit about myself,……I was born on a cold night in December 2015 in rather dramatic form… I was what the Doctors term ‘Footling breech’ kinda head up instead of head down, and as you would expect from the name feet first…….although I think being head up is kind of the logical way to do things, I mean seriously who stands on their head, only yogis and they have had years of practise not months…
(when push comes to shove)
Anyway two days prior to my exit from the snug little bag in which I had up until then resided (39 weeks if you want to be exact) a rather overenthusiastic Doctor tried to get me to turn, they wanted me head down as opposed to my prefferencial head up…. now my navigational skills are still developing but in my humble opinion when you want out you want out and lying upside down for a couple of months until I am big enough to meet the world just ain’t my style, I was comfy and no amount of tugging and pushing was going to change that…….As it happens I was a bit miffed at being woken up so rudely by said Doctor and having my head shoved around I wasn’t budging, but decided i,d make a move soon. so to cut a long story short I set the ball in motion and took matters into my own hands, (or feet)
I am rather proud of my athletic ability and managed to get in a number of well placed punches and kicks before the bag finally burst in the early hours of that wintery morning, from there on I moved fast wriggling, kicking and punching until we arrived at the hospital around a half an hour or so later……….. I don’t think the hospital staff thought I had such a quick entry in mind as they waved my mother into a sideroom, known as the waiting room (I mean seriously?)…. I mean okay so my mum had managed to walk to the ambulance then up the stairs to the maternity unit when we arrived at the hospital but she was still intermittently puffing and panting and that sure had nothing to do with the stairs.
In any event no one really seemed to think I planned on showing my butt (which is apparently what came first according to the nice Doctor who later gave my grandmother a running commentary of my arrival in the operating theatre) but you know what right then my mum did something that kind of let everyone know I,d had enough of hanging around by grabbing a hold of the examination bed which another woman had recently vacated and shouting ‘she’s coming’ to anyone within earshot……
(At the theatre – show time)
Almost immediately a nice lady doctor arrived on the scene and did what can only be described as a rather undignified internal examination to determine what my plans were and what do you know she felt my feet, against my better judgement she pushed me back in although I had no intention of staying put….I guess they knew it too because suddenly a whole team of people arrived and starting getting my mum ready for that cool ride down to the operating theatre.
I don’t know exactly how long we were in there but my grandmother assured my mother it wasn’t long, I know some of the staff were kind of amazed I came so quick and kept mentioning how crazy it was that my mum phoned the hospital to let them know that we were coming then when we got there about thirty minutes later she was already 8 centimetres, which meant nothing to me but apparently is major progress on the delivery front
Anyway that is more or less how I made my entry into this world and like all rebellious types I started as I mean to go on……3 months of colic and no sleep (more my mum not me as I made up for the lack of sleep during the day which unfortunately was not always possible for my mother……I am just coming into my own …I am emerging as a bright, alert happy little soul who still has a bit of a problem with the night routine but whose cheeky smile make the ‘disrupted’ sleep worth it (what can I say I like my milk – preferably served at room temperature with one or two hourly intervals in between………well I am here now…..my mother tried for almost three years to have me and tells me my absence was like an open wound that refused to heal my presence has closed that wound…….I healed her heart……..This is my story……..